We were now ready to make our adoption profile book. We were white glove approved and ready to adopt after finishing our Homestudy. Now we needed a profile book telling information about ourselves to offer to potential birth families.
For those of you just starting out, you may wonder what an adoption profile book is. A profile book is a book about you, that tells your story, so whoever looks at it will get a glance into your life and want to know more. Basically, it’s a scrapbook of your life. Making an adoption profile book can seem intimidating since this is how someone will choose whether you could parent their child or not. No pressure, right? We had to make the best first impression. I spent hours upon hours and many days working on our book.
What to include in your adoption profile book?
The most important thing about making this adoption profile book is to just be YOU!! Potential birth families viewing it will see right through you if you’re not being yourself. What good will it do for anyone if you aren’t truly being yourself?
You will want to include a lot of pictures of yourself doing things that you love to do. Everyday things, hobbies, and fun activities you like to do. If you like to go camping, or hike or travel the world, include those pictures. If you are close with your extended families include those also. Show them a picture of your house or neighborhood, or a beloved pet. Remember to include captions to describe the photos. Don’t let people guess who that guy is or what activity you are doing.
You shouldn’t include any photos where alcohol of any type is in the photos. It is a huge turn-off and offensive to some, so just don’t do it.
What will life look like:
Make sure you are showing pictures to showcase your life and who you are, don’t turn it into a brag fest. You aren’t trying to sell a car, and birth parents don’t always care to see all the expensive things that money can buy. Birth parents want to see what a life for their child will look like. Yes, that sometimes includes what you can offer to the child, but honestly, they want to know if their child is in a loving home, and happy. Money or things will not bring you happiness. As they read your adoption profile book they will get that vision. Don’t forget to share information about yourself and how you met your spouse. Tell them about your jobs and if you earned a degree in a specialized skill. Will someone be staying at home with the child, or what will your daycare plans be? Tell them why you want to adopt, and what your dreams are for your family.
Openness in Adoption:
Lastly, you should include what type of openness you are comfortable with. Also depending on your agency they may require a certain degree of openness. Our agency required us to be open and had different requirements we had to withhold. Unless the birth family didn’t want any contact or updates then that was okay but openness was still encouraged. Other agencies may allow for semi-open arrangements while others may keep all records closed meaning there is no contact or information provided.
The worse thing you can do is say you will do something and then go back on your word. Don’t say you will do something just to get picked and then not do it. Typically the degree of openness originally stated either changes to more openness or less, depending on the situation. When we first thought of adopting, the thought of having an open adoption scared me. It also depends on the situation at hand. Visits with a birth family may NOT be the best thing for the child. Each situation is different and needs to be judged accordingly. In our profile book, we stated that we were willing to provide openness in a way that worked best for everyone involved.
In conclusion, it may seem pretty intimidating to create an adoption profile book. Just remember to relax and show your best self. A birth mother typically can tell just from the beginning if you are someone she is looking for. It’s not personal either, it’s about making the best choice for her child. It’s amazing some of the things that might grab their attention and make you “the one.”
Once someone picks your book and you get the call, it’s an exciting time! It may take several times before you actually become “the one” but at least you know that you have great potential to be picked. Don’t lose hope if it takes a while. When we made our first book we were on the waiting list for ONE month before we got picked as “the one.” Does that always happen? No. I made our book as real as I could get and out of 80 books that our birth mom looked at, we ended up in her top two. That’s pretty amazing and is still a blessing to us today.
If you would like any help or need suggestions while making your profile book, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me! Please share this on social media to help others starting the adoption process!